On Kindness

An act of kindness can be the boldest move you make today.

The simplest definition of "kindness" is treating other living beings with respect.

I am aware this definition bursts into shades of gray when you consider the complexities of the world we all share. But please bear with me.

I believe I was born with a kind soul, but I do not always act in accordance with that inherent nature. I believe most human beings are born with kind souls, but in various circumstances, find themselves behaving in less-than-kind ways. Some people are so far removed from their kind nature, it seems they are no longer capable of kindness (but that is a topic for another day).

Kindness is a practice, a muscle we exercise. My profile pic declares that I am a "kind soul," but I’m not claiming this as a static trait. It is something I strive for, something I must choose again and again—especially after I have been unkind. I hope my practice becomes more effective over time, that it shapes me for the rest of my days on this tiny, shared planet.

When someone is surprised by a kind act, I am sad. I don't think kindness is rare; it simply gets lost in the scurry of everyday life. I understand, though, how it can feel like the exception rather than the rule.

I want to exemplify kindness, to have it radiate from me like an aura. But I try not to bask in it like a virtue. The kindness may originate from my actions, but it is intended for the other person. It is about helping them feel seen and respected. It is about encouraging them to choose kindness for themselves and others, too.

When I am kind to myself, it is easier to be kind to others. If I treat myself with negativity and shame, disrespecting my worth, I am far more likely to treat others poorly.

Being kind costs me nothing. When I show someone kindness, the balance sheet tips in everyone's favor. It is a renewable energy source, a multiplying force.

What if someone doesn't return my kindness? What if they reject it outright? I've lost nothing in this case. Kindness isn't transactional. No one is obligated to accept it or make me feel good about it.

Is this practice worth it in a world that doesn't always value kindness? It has great worth to me because it is not an all-or-nothing proposition. Kindness works in microdoses. It works as grand, sweeping actions. It is not a competition, unlike so many other parts of our lives.

Kindness is:

• Respectful

• Open

• Accepting

• Self-perpetuating

Kindness is not:

• Passive

• Polite

• Weak

• Compromising

An act of kindness can be the boldest move you make today. It can spark something bigger and brighter. It can defend people who are being unjustly targeted. It can help someone realize they could be more kind to themselves and others. It can be loud and brave or quiet and gentle. We show kindness in numerous, varied ways and for many reasons.

How do you express kindness in your life?

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Today, I'm writing about kindness as a practice in the Kind Soul Studio. I am also working on The Danger of Broken Girls: Part Two, but writing my origin story has proven more emotionally difficult than I imagined. Thank you for your patience as I find my way through these memories.

Image by Pexels from Pixabay.